RIVER WILD: 3.5

Woof. This movie STINKS. One of Netflix new releases, a remake of an 80s version that appears to not stink. I will just get to a couple points here on this brutal movie:

  1. Adam Brody as recently released prison guy who kills people, just no. It is as awful as it reads.
  2. His best friend who is like 6’7 260 gets into a fight with him over the gun and somehow loses the fight. To what, 6’0 150 pound Brody. It is the silliest fight scene ever made.
  3. The way that Brody obtains a gun and randomly keeps finding magazine rounds and somehow is well versed in this even though he only went to prison for taking the fall on a cocaine bust is truly ridiculous.
  4. The camper who almost saves them, why the fuck did he just not grab the gun when Brody was sleeping lmao. Brody was asleep. Instead he makes a bunch of noise trying to untie them.

This movie is so unbelievably dumb and besides that it takes a solid 45 min for literally anyone to die. I did give it 6.5 for visuals though, so if you want to see some gorgeous visuals of the northeast forest and rivers, in a movie that is truly pitiful, look no further. That is a review.


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